(Otherwise known as the U.S.)
I’ve been back for nearly a month, and in that month I’ve felt all of the South African influences and idiosyncrasies that I picked up slowly slipping away. But every now and then, I’ll feel a pull in the back of my mind, and I’ll realize how different things are here in America with a sudden jolt.
The first time I went to Wal-Mart with my dad, it had only been a day after my return. I’d gotten used to being alone in South Africa, but I guess I was more jittery than I realized. When my dad left me to go look for a particular item a couple aisles over, I felt nervous, scared, afraid for my safety. When I told my dad, he sort of laughed, then said that South Africa had really messed me up.
Which I don’t think is completely fair. I don’t want to make everyone think that South Africa is such a dangerous place that you’re going to go crazy and paranoid if you visit the country, but it’s sure nice not to be stared at all the time. I stuck out a mile, gleaming like a ghost when I walked down the street, walking too fast and carrying too little and looking generally too happy and naïve.
Here in the U.S. I’m back to what I’m used to: being invisible most of the time. I’m not going to lie—I definitely prefer it. But sometimes it was nice to be recognized as a foreigner. Tons of people in South Africa were amazing and offered to help me find my way, walk with me to the store, give me food, let me crash at their apartment, etc. In the U.S., though, I blend in. When I talk, people understand me, and I understand them. I never got tired of giving the “Where I’m From & What I’m Doing Here” speech, but it’s undeniable—I’ve spent 20 years in the United States, and the United States is where I belong. I only just dipped my toes into South Africa, and it’d take a lot longer for me to really understand the country.
Not that people in the U.S. don’t stare at me sometimes. I didn’t realize how chill South Africans were until I was in the airport in Washington. I was trying to put in my contact and these two ladies sitting across from me were staring at me unabashedly. Eventually I put on a huge grin and said something along the lines of, “Hate these annoying contacts!” and they smiled back uneasily. I tried to explain the difference between South Africa and the U.S. to my mom, and she actually managed to put it better than I could.
In the U.S., people put stock in rules. We believe that if you work hard and don’t break the law, you will be rewarded with wealth and a mini-mansion and maybe even a Ford F-150. So when anyone deviates even the slightest from the social code, their peers distrust and discuss their behavior. It makes us a pretty judgmental society, in my opinion. In South Africa, nobody cares what clothes you wear or if your bag is from Mr. Price or Louis Vuitton. If you choose to eat with your hands instead of a fork and knife, probably nobody will pay you any attention. (Imagine that scene in a U.S. restaurant-HA). Moreover, in South Africa the rules haven’t necessary been beneficial for a large segment of the population. The apartheid legacy has had a lasting impact on the country in terms of respect for the rule of law and belief in “the system.” Where you can get a job honestly in the U.S. based on merit, in South Africa, it’s best if you know someone. If you go 90 mph on a country road in the U.S., the police WILL find you and give you a very expensive ticket. In South Africa, if you went 130 k in a residential area, you can probably bribe the cop out of a ticket by giving him 50 or 100 Rand. I guess what I’m trying to say is that in the U.S., the system works, so people believe in it, and society is very well-structured. In South Africa, things are a little more hazy, and people are perceptive enough to know that everything isn’t black and white.
But the biggest different between the U.S. and South Africa is abundance. In my house, we have 2 fridges, just because we can. It has nothing to do with really needing or wanting another fridge—it’s semi-convenient, and we can fill it with more food than we can ever eat. People buy 5-bedroom homes even though their family only contains 3 people, just because they can. When you drive down the street, humongous trucks and SUVs pass you by (keep in mind that this is Texas). Who needs a bush guard and a V-8 engine in the city??? Nobody needs those things. They have them because they can.
Because of all of the advertising and high wages and high expectations, the U.S. is the land of Ultimate Satisfaction. If anything is wrong or if anything is broken, it is your right to have it fixed right away. No discomfort allowed.
I love the U.S. and I love South Africa, but boy are the lifestyles different.
