Posts By: Chris LaMountain

The Immaculate “Conceptions”

Many contemporary theologians consider Mother Mary to the first Christian, as “if she never believed it, she never would have conceived it.” Today we will explore the word “conception” and the ways in which Mary interacts with different types of conceptions, from the physical to the mental. Although there was no linguistic connection between types… Read more »

There is no Rose of such Virtue

… as is the rose that bare Jesu. Hold the phone, am I genuinely singing this song about Mary’s virtuous vagina on the steps of Alice Millar Chapel in front of a crowd of pious congregants? It is these moments, when you listen to the words or look up at the broken, bony body of… Read more »

A Highway for Our God

If Adam and Eve have taught us anything, it’s that there exists an undeniable importance in the genesis. Genesis: the beginning, the coming into, the initial velocity, the big bang that set every particle in motion toward their exact position of this moment. To understand our suffering – the New Testament tells us – we… Read more »

Your Average Joe

New Testament Joseph was having a masculinity crisis! How emasculating it must feel to have a pregnant fiancee with a child that isn’t yours? To not have been that one to assert your dominating masculinity over your submissive female partner through intercourse? How could the “genealogical” father of the new Messiah exist within the feminine… Read more »

Teleios

Ἔσεσθε οὖν ὑμεῖς τέλειοι ὡς ὁ Πατὴρ ὑμῶν ὁ οὐράνιος τέλειός ἐστιν. Focus on it. Teleios, as commonly translated, means “perfect,” thereby putting this line from Jesus’ antitheses in Matthew 5 as “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Mt 5:48) However, this translation is surely less than perfect as the original Greek… Read more »

The Big “D” of Divinity – Salvation by Masculinization

The Fourth entry of the Baha’i Twelve Principles of prophet, Baha’u’llah, highlights the connectedness of science and religion: “For God has given humans reason to investigate about the truth of things. If religious matters are against science and reason, they are illusions. For that which is against science is ignorance. And if we say religion… Read more »

PHASE II

I’ve always hated Autumn. Sure, it’s objectively the most scrapbookable season of Massachusetts, but something about it is so essentially painful for me. Not the departure from the summer’s promise of warm memories, not the reminder of decay and descent in the leaves, not the intolerable tricker-treaters that break silence in my neighborhood every October’s… Read more »

The Purity Test

If Game Show Network were to exist over two millennia ago, “The Purity Test” would surely be of the most viewed features among their male audience. Physicians, clergymen, and your average, ancient Mediterranean Joe were simply obsessed with confirming the virginity, and therefore physical purity of a female body at nuptial question. Various cultural practices… Read more »

Parthenogenesis – Creating Virginity (Part 2)

In order to rationalize the “natural order” that allowed the female body to conserve its pure, virginal state until nuptial consumption, ancient culture and medicine constructed the idea of a sealed womb. In the process of nuptial consummation, the woman’s vaginal canal was thought to widen, which was evidenced by the deepening of the girl’s… Read more »

Parthenogenesis – Creating Virginity (Part 1)

I was sitting in my high school biology class, during the lecture on bees. The slide that detailed their reproductive systems outlined two distinct paths of procreation: 1) the fertilized egg, produced out of two gametes, 2) the unfertilized egg, produced out of parthenogenesis. What was that, Dr. Ryan? gamete, derived from the ancient Greek… Read more »